What is Tantra? And do I want to try it??

“Oh my god so we had sex for like 6 hours straight last night…like epic tantra shit. It was seriously earth shattering, Holly.”

That was my brief introduction to Tantra. My friend telling me about his epic night of spiritual lovemaking. What the hell is Tantra? My head wasn’t prepared to wrap around the concept of spiritual sex, never mind 6 straight hours of sex. Questions flooded my mind, but I didn’t ask him any of them. I wondered everything from how he could have a 6 hour erection to what kind of tricky, pretzel-like positions this entailed. I listened to him telling me about how earth shattering it was, and how the partner he was with was such a good friend too. I briefly imagined a scene involving a candlelit room, his partner with her hair in dreads, lots of sweat, deep breathing and jugs of water (well after 6 hours of sex, you’d get thirsty too).

Now don’t get me wrong, up until this point, I had a few “marathon” sessions if you will, none of it that I would ever complain about either. For the most part, it was good but basically vanilla. In hindsight it’s like comparing sex to a good cup of tea. Comforting, satisfying, that type of thing. But this Tantra thing, I had no idea what my friend was on about.

Now fast forward 5 years or so. New relationship for me, having tons of fun in bed with a partner who likes to experiment. Gone are the days of vanilla, I was experiencing an intoxicating intensity. I was going further intimately and pushing my own boundaries. One day this conversation from the past crossed my mind. Tantra…hmm. I may be ready to check this out.

Enter my friend H from California. Yes, he really is from California. He had nothing but good things to say about the subject and pointed me in the direction of a few books, authors and websites.

My journey began with this book, Urban Tantra by Barbara Carrellas. Through understanding Tantra, I discovered more about sex and intimacy than I ever thought possible.


No matter what your gender, orientation or desire, Barbara Carrellas will help you expand your notions about intimacy and sex. If you want to get to know the basics, be informed and learn something new, this is the book you want. Even if you like myself, have ever asked, “is there more to this?” the answer is yes. Try Tantra.

Tantra is more than long sex sessions, crazy sex positions and yogic sounds. It’s about intense pleasure, broadening and expanding your horizons. So what is Tantra? Tantra is the exploration of ecstasy through sex. It is through this exploration you will change your mind about how sex works.

Urban Tantra will guide you through its use of illustrations and step by step instructions. Carrellas shares techniques on play by yourself and with a partner. Whatever your preference or orientation, Urban Tantra has something for you to try out and enjoy.

Early in the book, Barbara dispels 10 myths about Tantra, putting any concerns you may have had the about the subject to rest. She then explains why ecstasy is necessary. She even covers subjects such as “How to Touch” and “Solo Tantra”. My personal favourite are the chapters on the “Erotic Awakening Massage”. So so good. The book concludes with a chapter on Sex Magic. Totally worth the read.

For me, reading this book started me on a journey of a deeper, more intense, even ecstatic sex life and relationship than I ever really imagined. Urban Tantra has taken me beneath the surface, to a place where is open, free and now, home. Sex can be all you imagined and more.

“The art is not in how Tantric a position is, but how Tantrically you fuck in any position.” – Urban Tantra. Check out this link on amazon for your own copy.


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